As Different as Chalk and Bees.

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This is not a bee.  Lets get that straight. Right now.  It is superficially, I will grant you, a bit bee-ish.  In that its yellow and black and sitting on a flower.  (This, by the way, is called Batesian mimicry, which means having a ‘don’t eat me, I’m dangerous / I sting / I’m poisonous.) But if you were, say, a documentary magazine show maker/researcher/writer for, say, Channel 4, and the documentary you’re making is about bees, would you think that it would be a bad idea to, instead of filming feeding honey bees (as the audio commentary calls them), you film two different species of HOVERFLIES!!!??

I know this is a bit pedantic of me, but I was already 90% irritated with “Wild Things” (Channel 4’s recent offering of ‘cutting edge botany’ hosted by an excessively northern Hobbit – ‘rising star’ of the garden design world, Chris Myers) and settling in on a Monday night watching a show about my beloved bees and seeing these images really was the straw that broke the camel’s back.*
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So lets break it down…

Bees:  FOUR (count ’em) wings.  Mandibles (jaws) and a long tongue.  Long antennae.  Average sized eyes.
Flies:  TWO wings.  No mandibles or tongue, just a weird sucky-spongey-thing (Labellum). Tiny, almost invisible antennae.  ENORMOUS EYES!!

That is all.  I feel better now.  Rant over.  Cup of tea anyone?

*I would like to clarify that there is nothing wrong with being northern, and speaking as someone who is deeply besotted with Sean Bean, I am sure you will understand that I’m not anti-northern, just anti-‘Excessively Northern’.

4 Replies to “As Different as Chalk and Bees.”

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